is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
