apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
