I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
