It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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