we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I deserve this hangover.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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