naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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