obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
