She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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