I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
