he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
