So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
