Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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