I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
