I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
