We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
