I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
