Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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