I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
