Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize