dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
