Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
operation harelip BJ is a go
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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