remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
