just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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