I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
