I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
