I wish I could punch you in the face.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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