We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
