We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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