But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
