But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
