Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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