If i come over, it means nothing
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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