? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I wear drunk well.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
