sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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