Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
