but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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