I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
