And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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