apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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