what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
