Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
