i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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