I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
