Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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