i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
