just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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