I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
