so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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