So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
