How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
