i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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