I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
