Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
