I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
