You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
