Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
