yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
