i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
