make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
