I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
me + whiskey = a bad person
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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