Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize