I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
