I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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