uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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